There is so much to be done before Baby #2 gets here that most of the time I have to ignore the fact so that I don't get too overwhelmed. We are turning our attic space into a new bedroom for Lil Bo and then using his current bedroom as the nursery for Lil #2, which means that we have a long road behind us of cleaning out the attic space and still have a long road ahead of us which will consist of insulating and building real walls in there, not to mention painting and furnishing the room for Bo so that I can THEN get the nursery ready for Twosie.
Besides the huge daunting task of the bedrooms, there is normal new baby "stuff" that has to be handled and set up. From laundering the new clothes and setting up a baby swing to making sure I have the right sheets for the bassinet, it feels like I haven't done anything to prepare for my new little guy....where are my infant bottles with the slow flow nipples anyway? Did I pack them away into storage when we were cleaning out the attic? ugh.
On top of those concerns, I have been stressed out about the fact that I might have waited too long in general to wean Bo off of some "baby" habits as he has grown into a toddler. At 14 months he was still drinking milk from his bottle in my lap three times a day. I didn't even realize that around his first birthday is when a lot of moms chose to lose this ritual. I still rocked him to sleep for every nap and bedtime, and he still uses a binky. By one he was still in his infant carrier car seat. Because he is my first born I was slow and reluctant to change these "baby" habits, but along with my ever growing belly also grew my concern that I was soon going to be mother to not one but TWO babies and something would have to give. Bo's infantile habits also took up much of my time, since I was the one fostering the bottle feedings and long bedtime routines.
In July, with about two months left in my pregnancy, I decided to get serious. My "baby" was already 14 months old and he needed a serious lesson in maturation. We changed the bottle feedings into independent sippy cup sessions where he could play AND drink his milk like a big boy. I started a sleep training program that took almost a month but has been astronomically worth it since he can now put himself back to sleep when he wakes up in the night instead of crying for me to come in and rock him back to sleep at 1, 3, and 5 o'clock in the morning. He is fully walking and amazes me every day with how much he talks and understands. I can hold his hand instead of carrying him everywhere and he rides in the front seat of the shopping carriage instead of needing to be lugged in and then mounted on top of the wagon in his infant carrier. Success!
The only problem I could see was his bedtime and nap routine. The sleep training program recommends that you have a nice, soothing bedtime routine so that your child knows what to expect and can comfortably ease him or herself into sleep. For me and Bo, this routine is nearly an hour long. Many times while I read to him or sing him lullaby after lullaby and note that he is still not at the drowsy state recommended by my sleep-lady, I am in a constant panic. Imagine if #2 were here already and he needs to be nursed while Bo is supposed to be having his soothing bedtime routine? What if next month when Baby Boy is here he wakes up from a nap and needs me while I am locked in Bo's room trying to get through "Goodnight Moon" in record speed? Sometimes when Bo fights his naps I find myself in tears worried that I am spread too thin and that I'm never going to be able to handle a new baby! What was I thinking?
Then it hit me. I don't want to hurry up reading my nightly "Goodnight Moon" to Lil Bo, and I shouldn't have to. Both boys are my babies and always will be. I will always, for the rest of my life, be trying to figure out how to spread myself equally between these two angels. Just because a new baby is entering our lives, I don't have to hurry the other one up. Part of having a sibling is learning to take turns, not to lose out on something completely. I will still have a nice special bedtime routine with Bobby and when his brother cries that doesn't mean my first born gets pushed aside, it means I have to figure out a way to nurture both of them fairly. I don't know how I'm going to do that yet, because #2 hasn't made his earthly debut, but when the times comes, we will figure it out. With Big Daddy Conlon's help and some serious patience we are all going to get through it. It's just that maybe Lil Bo won't be getting rid of the binky as soon as we'd originally hoped. And that's going to have to be okay.
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